So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
