You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
