the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I would fuck him just for his dog
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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