So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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