We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
