I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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