My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
