Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
