Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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