I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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