you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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