I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
