in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
