Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
