i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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