Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize