Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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