I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
