why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
