2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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