Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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