I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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