I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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