Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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