it hurts more in the daytime
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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