Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
