See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
