she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
