I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Someone came in the potted fern
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
