last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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