were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
