From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
