OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
