It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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