oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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