Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Terrible idea I love it
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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