Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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