When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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