Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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