The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
