what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
