are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
