She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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