My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
