im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
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as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
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Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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