How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
