Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think my vagina is haunted
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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