You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
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I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
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I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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