He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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