hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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