They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
