it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
