Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
