These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
it's great music for shaving your balls
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
