when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
