Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
