Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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