they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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