Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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