i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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