If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
